Lonely

How is it possible to live in a world full of people and yet be lonely? Better yet, a house full? I wish I could by all means answer these questions.

I do, however, have an opinion. I think the answer lies within us. We must first love ourselves and be confident enough not to let anyone make us feel like we aren't worthy enough. Then maybe we could seek the people who would treat us better.

It's one thing to be lonely when you are truly alone but entirely another when you are surrounded. I would much rather be lonely by myself. At least you have a good reason why you feel this way. But to be surrounded by people that could care less is a bit frightening. It would almost be like a deaf person in this world and not a soul knows how to communicate with you. Total silence.

Lonliness is a hard state when all you want is to feel like the people around you truly care about your feelings, thoughts, and well being. To have some respect for you as a person would be nice.

I sincerely hope that if you're feeling lonely it's because you chose to be alone rather than someone forcing it upon you. If not, please find the courage and confidence to find better surroundings for your peace of mind.

Team Spirit

As you know, millions of people love sports. I, however, am not that big of a sports fanatic but I do love to show some team spirit every now and then. There’s something about dressing in your teams logo and cheering them on, especially if it’s a huge game. The adrenaline rush it gives is something quite unique for sports lovers.

There is also the expense of it all, from hats, jackets, jerseys, tickets, etc., it can be costly.  However, you do all you can to support your team and hope that they give back as well.  There is nothing like showing all that spirit and your team just doesn't quite come through.  You just have to remember though, it is just a game. Whether it be soccer, football, baseball, or any other sport.

Life is just like sports, you keep going no matter what the outcome is because you have spirit. It doesn't matter that the ref didn't make the call you wanted or they lost, the team had to keep going.  Maybe they will do better next time. There is also a next time, maybe different players but still the same game.  Life just keeps going, maybe not the way you intended it to but you have to keep up the spirit and move on.

Time's Ticking

I look around me sometimes and I wonder where the time has gone. Seems like yesterday that I was graduating high school and getting my license. Not to mention wandering what I was going to do with my life.

I'm not sure if life just got away from me or I got away from life. My life sure never turned out like I imagined it would. Actually, it turned out the total opposite of what I had in mind. For instance, I had no desire for marriage or children. Well turns out I am married with four children. I also was never a dog person. Yep you guessed it, I have had several of those too.  Crazy huh?

Now here I sit watching time fastly go by and wondering where the next years will take me. Funny thing is, I'm tired and not sure where I want to be.  Life hasn't been exactly kind at times. It's definitely been exhausting.

My mother always told me the older you get the faster it goes. Boy was she right. Perhaps my last years will bring me much peace and joy.  As for now, I'll accept my time with my family and friends and hope it slows down just a little bit.

Compelled to Write

I absolutely love writing my blogs.  The only problem with it, I feel compelled every chance I get to create a new and interesting one. The need is in my brain, like I need to tell a story or share something all the time. I just don't want to pester or bother people with my everyday thoughts.

Unfortunately, I can't help myself. I have been known to post a lot of things of Facebook.  Some have even said, "She posts all the time!".  I never claimed if you added me as a friend I would keep posting to a minimum, so why should I keep my blogs that way.  Blogging is like a release for me.  I consider it a gift.

I love to let the world know that they are not alone in whatever it is that they are going through. I want people to see that other people deal with some of the same issues and happiness as they do.  To share is to care, in my opinion.  Let's face it together, so if I write something that I'm going through and you read it, you see I'm just as human as you are.

Again, I love to write and could do it all day.  My world is full of stories, laughter, tears, and heartache just like everyone else's.  Writing makes me happy in a way therapy could probably never touch.  So please don't feel burdened by my words, for they are simply a way of expressing my life as I see it.

Never To Old

No one is ever to old to have their day brightened by someone or something, even if it's a simple stuffed animal.  Just think, you are feeling down or lonely and someone gives you a gift out of the blue.  Doesn't it make you feel better? Doesn't it make the day seem so much brighter?  Of course it does!

Make someones day every once in a while.  Whether it's a single flower or a whole dozen. It doesn't matter because just one simple gesture can mean so much to someone.  Whether it be a friend, co-worker, or spouse just remember that some days are harder than others.  So if you can make just one person smile or feel better, why not do it.

A few years ago, I was having an extremely bad week. Everything was just going wrong.  I went to the grocery store and when I got home I noticed a huge beautiful plant sitting on my deck.  It took me by surprise to say the least.  I remember how pretty the color of the flowers were.  Immediately, I knew who had brought them.  It was a very close friend of mine.  He always knew how to make me smile.  I hadn't even talked to him that day, so he didn't know how bad my day was. Just seeing them, oh my, it brings tears to my eyes as I write this because he has since passed.  I miss him very much.  But something so simple as a plant, made my day.

Please be kind to each other.  One day someone might just make your day.  It doesn't take much, just something simple, perhaps even just a smile.

Daily Prompt: Waiting

via Daily Prompt: Waiting

I'm still waiting

On what, I don't know

For something good

For respect

For major changes

For enthusiasm

For self-confidence

For self-love

For true happiness

For attention

On what, I don't know

I'm still waiting

Baby's First

We always anticipate all the firsts our baby will have. Some of them are easier to deal with than others. For some teething is either very painful or comes without problems at all. Then there's sitting up, first steps, and so on. All which we welcome with open arms.

Then there's those first we just don't anticipate, leaving them. There's nothing worse than having to leave your child in the hands of total strangers. I say strangers because we don't truly know the people at daycare or school. We like to think we pick the appropriate ones to care for our little ones. The  first day of daycare/school has approached and that dreaded saying bye has come. As you leave your child for the first time, he cries and although you want to, you must be strong. You walk very quickly to your car hoping to hold it in before you totally lose it. Now you have to pull yourself together before you enter your job. Leaving a long day of fear, panic, and sheer agony. Picking up your little one can't come quick enough.

I know it's hard. I had to as a single mother years ago. Now as a grandmother, I had to watch my daughter do the same. I must say, I didn't want them to go, I actually cried. It's taking every ounce of me not to call and check on him every ten minutes. I know we have to do what we have to do but boy is it hard!

So for every first we must endure, nothing prepares us for most. Just remember we have all had to do it. We will survive them. Also whats hard for you might not be as bad for them. Hang in there my new parent friends, it will all be ok.

The Dreaded "Shots"

As many of you know, vaccines are required for your children. Let's be honest, who really wants to see their children getting those awful needles stuck in them? I know I didn't. I don't know who it makes feel worse, the child or the parent. Then again, it always depends on the nurse giving them. We have had some pretty awful nurses and some really good ones. I hated the ones who would come in like they were on a mission to see who could jab the hardest and fastest. It almost made you want to hold her down. Just saying.

Well, on that note, I have three grandsons. All of which got shots one day apart. Needless to say, maw maw's house was full of fever and grumpiness. God love them. It really makes for a long day when one doesn't feel good, not alone two. The two year old and the two month old were the two lucky ones, if that's what you want to call it, to get the side effects. Luckily, the one year old did rather well. He was still his old chipper self.

As all parents, grandparents, and caregivers know, these poor innocent children have no idea what's coming when they get to the doctors office. It's a shame we can't take it for them. We know it's for their own good but we still want to avoid anything that's going to make them feel bad. Even if it's helping in the long run.

Family Dinner

via Daily Prompt: Argument

We all know the holidays are coming, which is supposed to bring cheer, good will, and of course family get together. Tis the season!!! I do believe to be jolly is what follows that saying but let’s be real, it isn’t always so.

There’s nothing worse than sitting down to a beautifully prepared meal and an argument breaks out. You are sitting there with the best china, good friends, and family when all of a sudden, your sibling wants to fight. REALLY???? Why can’t you just have a nice meal? Your poor mother is distraught. Why wouldn’t she be? After all, she’s been preparing for days to make sure everything was perfect.

After about ten minutes, words have been said, feelings have been hurt, and someone is crying. And for what? No doubt it was over something so silly and so immature that it could’ve been avoided to begin with. All because of jealousy I’m sure. This is one of the main problems with family. One thinks the other has or gets more than they do. It’s just not fair. Well they have all the attention now.

I really hope the holidays bring you peace and joy. With nothing but love and compliments from each other. Don’t argue. It’s just a waste of time and nobody benefits from it. If anything, the only benefit is a bad time.

Depression

 

 

 

 

I can’t explain this feeling I have. It’s a feeling of helplessness and worthlessness, like there’s no hope left for tomorrow. My world sometimes just crumbles around me and I can’t stop it.

I pray for God to help me stop this out of control spiral my mind has taken on. I want him to save me from drowning in my own overwhelming thoughts. Like a hurricane hitting the shore and wiping away all that you worked hard to build. BAM! In an instant, all good is gone.

My tears want to come but my mind says “Don’t you dare!”. You just keep containing them because you can’t show your weakness anymore. Don’t you dare tell anyone how you are feeling. They will never understand the depth and severity of your emotions.

When will this end? How long do I have to walk around with a fake smile and pretend everything is good? Knowing all the while, I’m like a ticking time bomb. Ready to explode!

If you have ever felt this way, then you truly understand. You know that until that certain something happens that makes you snap out of it, there’s nothing you can do. You simply hope for a change, a savior, or a miracle. You just want anything to stop this whirlwind of mental terror that you can’t control.

Unfortunately, it’s exhausting. It totally sucks everything out of you. Your energy, enthusiasm, and quality of life are just not what they should or could be. I can only hope that one day my life will be as it should….peaceful.

Keeping Promises

via Daily Prompt: Promises

What is a promise? To be clear, I have defined it for you.

a declaration or assurance that one will do a particular thing or that a particular thing will happen.

Now that we are clear, let's talk about promises. How many promises have you made and how many have you kept? Let's be real, we would all like to think that all promises are made good by the person that made it. Especially if it's something we've been wanting.

Life is never really lived on promises. It's a good thing because probably over half of promises made get broken. It's ashame too. People intend to do well by someone and when time comes they can't produce whatever it was. Thus leads to broken hearts, disappointment, and anger.

The sad part is, after someone repeatedly makes you promises and breaks them, leads to distrust. That's not a good thing. You eventually begin questioning everything they say to you.  It's hard to be around someone like that not alone live with someone whom you can't depend on.

I hope that when you make a promise, it's within your means to make it happen. There's nothing better than to have someone deliver. It lifts your spirits and can sometimes make a bad day, better. Keep in mind, you wouldn't like a broken promise.

Pumpkins

Fall is in the air

Pumpkins everywhere

Candles lit inside

There's nowhere for them to hide

Some are big and tall

Sure signs that it's fall

Some are short and round

Come see what I've found

There's enough for pie

As they are stacked up high

There's even bread

At least that's what they said

One with a scary face

You just run from his place

One with a big smile

You can see for a mile

There's some for carving too

It's long overdue

It's hard to pick which one is best

You just have to look at all the rest

The Big "One"

It's so exciting when your baby finally turns one.  You get to plan a big party and invite everyone to share this wonderful moment with you.  You just can't wait to see the face of that little one as he opens up his gifts, eats his birthday cake, and sees all his family. I mean what could be more exciting....right?

Well....I bet you didn't take into consideration that he might be a little confused. After all, he really has no idea what is going on. The fact that all these people are surrounding him, taking pictures, and shoving gifts at him might be a little intimidating. The poor baby probably just wants a nap.

You, however, you are in heaven. You just know this is the best day ever! You are surrounded by all the people who love your baby as much as you do. Everyone is happy and having fun and that's all that matters. Well to you anyway because your little one could care less. He doesn't have a clue as to what in the world is going on.

As he "digs" into the cake, liking it of course, he is now covered from head to toe in icing. A picture perfect scene of a happy baby. Boy what a mess! That's one mess you actually don't mind cleaning up because he is worth it.

The gift part is just a riot. In my many years of experiencing this on any given occasion, there's nothing better than the paper or box of which the gift came in. Unfortunately, after the third gift, they have lost all interest in this whole party thing. You now have become the gift opener. Even then, he already has focused on that one thing and there is no distracting him.

About half way through the party, your little one has had enough. He's tired and cranky. It's nap time!! You now have to wind down the party without your little "star" because as far as he is concerned, you are the one enjoying this the most.  He doesn't have a clue this was all for him in the first place. Thank goodness for the world of pictures.

The Christmas Tree

via Daily Prompt: Tree

The Christmas tree is a figment of what you believe Christmas to be.  For many of us, our tree represents our own spirit of the holiday. It speaks volumes about what kind of mood we set for ourselves that time of the year.

Me, however, my tree changes year to year. It is either white or green and depending on the theme, the color of lights must coincide with the decor.  From there, we must decide what will be the right ornaments. Afterall, it has to be perfect.

A Christmas tree is something of sheer beauty, in which one can merely stare at forever. It's especially beautiful when you turn off the house lights and let the tree radiate in its own glory.  If the tinsel and lights are just right, it is truly stunning.

"I gotta ask a question"

Boy do kids learn quick! While at my daughters the other night, she was getting the kids ready for bed. As many of you know, bedtime can be a challenge in itself. Everything was going as planned until it was actually time to get in bed.



My oldest grandson is two. He is charming, very smart, and loving. He loves to get and give attention to every matter. If you say it hurts, he knows kisses make it better. He is quite the little man.



So now it's bedtime.  He is Paw Patrol everything. So of course he has to show maw maw his pillow and blankie. Let's not forget his cup.  After all the viewing, it's time to say goodnight.  As his mommy tries to get him in bed, he dead stops and says, "I gotta ask mawmaw a question." At this point, we both grin because we both know that's a definite delay. However, it happened to be the first time either of us had heard him say that before.



Isn't it funny how fast they pick up things? I would expect this from a four-year old but two!! This just goes to show I've got a very smart little guy on my hands. Oh my, the things to come. ☺

Autumn Appeal

Simply beautiful. Red, yellow, orange, and green, what a scene.

If you truly want to enjoy the beauty, take a drive down a country road.  It's such a serene sight. The cool crisp air is breathtaking. 

The leaves that have fallen give it an even more appeal. They lay on the ground under the tree as if the tree was blanketing its own roots. A sign of what's to come. The unique way nature tells us winter will soon be here.